


Fleeting Guilt

by SmolSoldier46



Category: The Mechanisms (Band), Ulysses Dies at Dawn - The Mechanisms (Album)
Genre: Ashes has feelings and gets them ripped from their chest, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt, Hurt no Comfort?, I dont know I'm bad at emotions, One (1) dead boy, Other, Sad, Spoilers, kind of??, maybe a little comfort but like a 1/4 of a teaspoon, no beta we die like the suits, nothing changes cannonically, platonic, sad ending??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27492898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolSoldier46/pseuds/SmolSoldier46
Summary: You ever think about how Orpheus might've been a orphan and Ashes just being like the caring parental role for everyone and Ashes just being like "You're cool, don't die"Yeah I'm bad at summaries and also tittles and quite possibly writing. Spoilers for Ulysses Dies at Dawn.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	Fleeting Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't really reread this so feel free to tell me about any mistakes

Ashes did regret a couple things.

The arsonist had always put on a cool uncaring demeanor when traveling ,they didn’t wear their heart on their sleeve and like many of the Mechanisms were actually quite avoidant of confrontation when it came to their feelings. The main difference was Ashes was usually the one to ask how someone was doing than to be asked. So they kept a sarcastic ‘I’ll brush it off’ style when it came to life.

That's not to say they didn’t have emotions, if anything they were the opposite. They had grown up in a place where they needed to care and then be cared for and that was quite a hard thing to let go of, even when they joined up with Mickey. They still were actually quite kind back then to the newer and younger recruits and every once in a while they recognized one from back at the orphanage, they hung onto that familiarity. 

Then Dr.Carmilla happened and their desire to protect grew weaker and unneeded. All of the people they cared for were just as strong and just as unkillable, they didn’t need a parental figure and they didn’t want a parental figure. Ashes still got to be quite caring but less than when they had been at the orphanage, it was relieving and strange at the same time. 

On one hand they didn’t need to worry about physical harm too much. Sure, nobody necessarily liked being shot but it wouldn't kill any of them and neither would being shot more than once so what was the point? Really the only thing they had to be careful about were a couple specific injuries and pressure points, they did not aim for anything the good doctor had made to say the least nor did they aim to hurt anyone based on their past. That varied day to day but typically meant no arson near TS and no toxic fumes near Tim, at least not unless he had a gas mask but even then it was clear he was uncomfortable.

Emotional pain was a bit more complicated than that though. It came in many forms for everyone on the ship, some definitely more healthy than others. For example, Ivy and Tim were a bit more open about their trauma, they looked for help when hurt and expressed what others could and could not do. Jonny on the other hand would need to be dragged kicking and screaming if you wanted him to even admit he found something uncomfortable and that made it very very difficult for Ashes to set boundaries. They managed of course, it just took a little more effort than before and they were of course willing to put in said effort. Now he was a bit more lenient in coming to them for help.

Of course they couldn’t judge him for not seeking out help considering they were pretty much in the same boat. Unless they were actually in danger Ashes tended to just not talk about their problems and either push them to the side to be dealt with later or bury them deep enough that they could no longer bother them. Both of these things were far from healthy coping mechanisms but neither was drinking and half the crew indulged in that whenever they felt just a little bit guilty, everyone who could drink that was. 

What Ashes hadn’t been expecting was for their parental instincts to reignite in the city, the city of all places. The place that was covered in grime and soot and was dirtier than a tobacco tray, that city. It wasn’t an immediate thing, it actually started without them noticing. They made a lot of donations to charity as Hades originally to keep up their reputation but after one to many trips to the orphanages and shelters they started to realise that might not be the case.

This didn’t stop them from donating time and money alike to the institutions and doing some deeper digging on which ones were more trustworthy than others but it did make them realize that they hadn’t done this in a long time. The sevens didn’t need charity but her orphanage did, they needed to count every last penny in order to keep running and Ashes had been one of the people who would count them. They often thought they might inherit the charity and based off of their records that could’ve been the case, if they hadn't joined the Lucky sevens of course. 

This wasn’t the only minute when these instincts kicked in, they actually had been what convinced them to stay on this planet just a bit longer. Ulysses wasn’t the only interesting one they were just the one they wouldn’t mind seeing the end of, no there was someone else on the planet they found important. 

A singer who worked next to the Toy Soldier on a variety of occasions and that the wooden figure often referred to as a friend. They had heard some recordings of their performances and actually quite liked the style, not enough to personally hire them but enough to show respect. Then they figured out about Eurydice, the dear sweet Eurydice he loved oh so much. If Ashes hadn’t been listening in they would’ve never noticed the lady but now they did, and they weren't exactly keen on it.

They couldn’t just take a mind out of the Acheron, not only would that be irresponsible on their part but it would be incredibly complex. Eurydice would never return the same and they couldn't tell if that would break the young Orpheus’s already fragile heart or simply let it grow stronger. There was also the matter of payment which they could quite easily deal with themselves but then the crew would indeed realize that they had gone soft for the man and that was not worth the price.

So they waited and watched as the people moved and changed until the night Orpheus actually confronted them about Eurydice. They played a song with it, a beautiful melody that filled the throne room and halls. It was solom but it was determined, and who was Ashes O Reilly if not the ever forgiving Hades. 

They gave him the job and watched as his eyes lit up at the mere mention of payment beyond what he needed. A steady income often made people happy but that could not compare to the sheer joy the boy was showing. In all honesty they thought he might break down crying then and there. 

So they sent him out with a wave and a grin waiting for his return from the vault. It was fun to watch the suits running around and searching the city for Ulysess who was oblivious to the half baked threat. Orpheus wasn’t the most useful at time but he served a purpose none of the other could ever really fill. Besides sometimes you couldn’t be all gruff and tough to get into a building, sometimes you just needed a nicer approach. 

When Orpheus didn’t return it was actually quite easy to tell how enraged Ashes was. They burned things more often, grew more reckless with their immortality and power. They hired search parties to look for the young boy and when each one returned empty handed added them to the ever growing Acheron. They searched through every brain in a vain hope there was a mistake, just a small hiccup where they got renamed, only to find nothing.

Eventually they did find the suits, as well as Ulysses who laid decomposing in the vault. They couldn’t blame the man, this was his poetic end, going out in a storm of passion is always one of the best ways to die. This didn’t change the boiling rage at seeing the pale thin man who laid before them bleeding across the stone floors. 

Now Ashes stood here, with the closest thing they could call friends behind them burning this god forsaken city to the ground as the suits screamed behind them. They begged for mercy, begged to be let go, but only one had actually managed to pull guilt from their chest as he cried and screamed. 

“You said it would be enough Hades!” he shouted voice aching with grief. “You said this would’ve been enough!”

Raphealla seemed to catch on looking glancing between the two of them before pushing herself off the rubble she sat on. “You don’t have to leave him behind. We can bring him with us and find a way.”

Her voice was soft and calm, a small flame in a raging wildfire. She smiled softly, waiting for an answer. 

“No, no he needs to rest,” they decided.

Immortality was a pain and Ashes would not be dragging him down into this hell with themself.

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't important but I finished this during a history class so I guess that sums up my attention span. The tittle for this in my google doc is also just "Orpheus deserved better" so interpret that as you will. Hope everyone's having a good november.


End file.
